The shifting boundaries of professional relationships

“How are you?” has become a real question that gets a real answer. Everyone has a story to tell and there has been a real need to be able to tell it, sometimes repeatedly, sharing the emotional ups and downs that have taken over our lives. The need for connection and relationship is fundamental to being human and the unnatural lockdown conditions are magnifying that need in the struggle against isolation.

The boundaries around professional relationships have shifted and are unlikely to return to what they were as changing working practices will continue to blur the work and home personal. We are all getting used to seeing our colleagues and clients in their home environments, often accompanied by young heads and random pets. We hear from our clients that they are spending much more time just talking to their teams, individually and collectively. The tension between time invested “just talking” and getting on with task is one that some are struggling to reconcile, particularly those who prefer more transactional professional relationships.

Relationship has often been undervalued as a support for productive working and this is a real opportunity for leaders and colleagues alike to understand people in their broader context. Being able to turn up as a whole person offers so many opportunities for growth; being ignored just drains motivation.

Showing genuine interest, really listening to what someone is saying and valuing the time spent in conversation are three elements that make this work, building the real relationships that will payback over time.

New boundaries will be set, as they must be, but new patterns must also emerge.

Some points for reflection:

• How much do you really value the relationships with your team and colleagues?
• How aware are you of the different needs of your team members and colleagues? And how can you adapt to those?
• How do you feel about this shift in the requirement of you as a leader? What will it take for you to have more real conversations?
• How do you reconcile in your own mind the tension between the urgent need to manage the business (a matter of survival for many) and the real need to support the team in a more personal way?
• Boundaries will still need to be drawn: how will you decide where they need to be (for now)?