Leading Through Frustration: Recognise when you have been able to take forward positive steps

Logging where you have been able to make progress helps provide a secure foundation for next steps.

If you do not feel you have been able to make any progress in handling your frustration or the frustration of others your sense of energy and resolve will inevitably diminish. If you are able to identify some progress, however small, there will be the seed corn of encouragement that will provide you with the hope that future progress is possible.

It helps to set expectations that are stretching but realistic, and then to take pride in progress made even if progress feels small. It can take a long time to change the viewpoint of key individuals but the repetition of sound evidence can lead to small, if somewhat grudging acknowledgement of some progress.

When the frustration is deep seated a first step is to accept that frustration and not let it infect other areas of your life to the extent that it previously did. If the sound of someone’s voice sets off a frustrated reaction in you, it can be a measure of progress when your emotional reaction is less acute and you are more able to hold at bay the sense of resentment or anger that might previously have broken out towards a particular individual.

Sometimes a positive step forward is just the acceptance that certain people or contexts frustrate you, with your taking avoiding action in a timely way or putting your defences up, quickly to ensure damage limitation.

After three months in her role Hazel hit a low point. She was equally frustrated with her Chair and some of her leadership team. She felt that they were going to absorb a lot of her time which would be better deployed focusing on the strategy of the Charity and building key links with partners. She resolved at this low point to keep plugging away seeking to build forward momentum. She resolved not to be daunted by what felt like an uphill approach.

Gradually Hazel began to feel some progress but recognised it would be slow going and that major transformation would probably have to wait until the current Chair had moved on and she had built her own leadership team. Hazel set her sights fairly low about what could be achieved but was able, over time, to observe some limited but helpful progress. She knew it would not be helpful to be negative about her Chair to any of the other trustees or her senior staff. She recognised that she had to work with the Chair she had got and build on the progress that she was able to secure. The Chair had appointed her and was committed to her success which meant that there were moments when she could give feedback to the Chair about the type of leadership she would welcome from him.

In practice

· Set expectations about progress but do not make them over ambitious

· When progress is made mark it in your own mind and seek to make it irreversible

· Accept that a sequence of small steps can lead a long way

· Accept that progress is as much about your attitude of mind in responding to frustration as about action taken

An extract from ‘100 Great Leading Through Frustration Ideas’ written by Peter Shaw and published by Marshall Cavendish in 2019.

Next week we will look at knowing who are your allies and supporters.