Leading Through Frustration: Accept that some frustrations won’t go away and have to be lived with
Some frustrations are unavoidable. You cannot pretend they are not there, but you can learn to live with them.
You may suffer from physical limitations that have to be lived with. You used to be able to climb a mountain quickly but now you get puffed part-way up. You used to be able to do mental arithmetic with alacrity but are now dependent on the calculator on your personal computer. You used to be able to work non-stop for ten hours a day but now need respite breaks in order for your energy to be recharged. These are frustrations that have to be lived with and won’t go away.
You may have inherited a team who bring a mixed set of capabilities. They frustrate you by their inability to look very far ahead. The team members have lots of relevant experience and are committed, but you are frustrated that they are not making as much progress as you would ideally like. You recognise that you have to live with the team you have got and need to focus on small changes that can make an incrementally valuable difference.
Your immediate boss or Chair is in post for the next two to three years. You have no say in whether they continue in post. The individual would not be your choice but you accept that it is not your decision as to who is the CEO or Chair of the organisation. You have learnt to rub along with your boss or Chair because of their experience and their governance role, which you accept is an essential part of the check and balance in any organisation.
You may have aspired to hold a more senior position than you currently occupy. There continues to be an element of frustration that your ambition has not been as fulfilled as you would have liked. You tell yourself that in the current role you are able to make a difference in areas that are important to you and provide the income to sustain your family, but you recognise that there will inevitably be an element of frustration that you have to live with if your career has not progressed as you had hoped at an earlier stage in your career.
Hazel had accepted the job as CEO of the Charity because she was convinced that the Charity would be able to make a significant impact going forward in the health arena in which it operated. The Chair of the organisation was knowledgeable but somewhat dated in his perspective. The Chair did not fully appreciate the potential impact of modern sophisticated information technology and was not inclined to move quickly to invest in technological change. Hazel recognised that she would have to take the Chair with her in a measured and relatively slow way.
A couple of her senior team were relatively close to retirement and were not going to radically change their attitude and approach. Hazel talked with them frankly about what they wanted their legacy to be in their last two or three years and used this as a means of encouraging them to focus their energy in a constructive way over the next period. But they were unlikely going to change their broad approach or pace. Hazel recognised that she needed to let them complete their appointments with pride: at the same time she wanted to press them to set their own stretching expectations for their last stint at the Charity.
In practice
· Be honest to yourself about the people who cause you frustration and be realistic in recognising where change is or is not possible
· Accept that you have to live with the frustrations that certain people in authority cause you while not letting those people damage your self-confidence
· Recognise that frustration is a better alternative to dejected acquiescence
An extract from ‘100 Great Leading Through Frustration Ideas’ written by Peter Shaw and published by Marshall Cavendish in 2019.
Next week we look at Recognising that you need to be in the right frame of mind before you can act well
