Do you really know what you are you feeling today?

This should be an easy question to answer and yet it isn’t at the moment because many of us are experiencing a much wider range of emotions than normal and are on a Coronacoaster. We are having more emotional ups and downs during the pandemic, enjoying some aspects of lock-down one minute and feeling low and anxious the next.

Some examples of the emotions that people shared when I asked how they were feeling last week included:

• Being scared that I won’t see my parents again.
• Fear that my business won’t survive.
• Disappointed that I am missing planned holidays and celebrations.
• Weak having had Covid-19 and still feeling breathless at times.
• Exhausted from having to juggle work, children’s education and housework.
• Anxious when friends become ill.
• Sad and depressed when people I care about die.
• Confused and uncertain about the longer term implications of the pandemic.
• Joy at the opportunity to spend more time and not commute.
• Yearning to go to the places that I miss.
• Happy about having deeper connections to friends and colleagues.
• Lonely — I haven’t seen anyone to talk to in person for so long.
• Angry that colleagues have been furloughed or made redundant, and guilty that I still have a job.
• Severe anxiety and overwhelm which is stopping me from being able to open my emails or respond to people.
• Lacking the energy and motivation to do things and at the same time, being scared that post lock-down, I’ll regret what I didn’t achieve.

Covid-19 is having a disorientating impact on our lives, on global health and on our economies. Many people are feeling overwhelmed by the pandemic and it is having a negative effect on global mental health. It has triggered a range of physiological and psychological responses that include heightened sensitivity, distress and grief owing to the amount of change that we are experiencing, the reduction in our security and the loss of loved ones.

What can we do about this? The first crucial step is to notice and tune into our own feelings first, before attending to others. I’ve noticed a tendency in leaders, caregivers and those in the helping professionals to focus on others. We need to relate to and help ourselves before we can do the same for others; to start by putting on our own life jackets. Unless we recognise our own natural response and process these strong emotions first, we will be ‘wounded helpers’ and we won’t have the capacity to help others.

In practical terms, you can help yourself by:

1. Practising deep breathing — this slows the heart rate and restores the body to a calmer state. Commit to doing deep breathing at the start of each day for a short period. Also use deep breathing during the day when you notice rising fear or stress. There are many apps to help you to do this including Smiling Mind (free), Breathe and Headspace.
2. Noticing and naming your feelings and the sensations in your body. Many of us have learnt to suppress these feelings and sensations and it is useful to do the opposite — to acknowledge and allow yourself to feel them. This enables us to regulate our nervous system, ease anxiety and tension and to think logically again.
3. Describing your feelings either by writing them down or talking to someone that you trust about them. If you choose writing, use journaling — writing whatever comes into your mind for a period of time, say 10 minutes, and not editing what you write.
4. Establishing a gratitude practice by reflecting upon what you are grateful for at the end of each day just before you go to sleep. Think of two or three specific things, however small, that you are grateful for in your life right now.

Next week, we will look at further ways to build emotional resilience.